


Enough

by Wally_Birb



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe - Twins, Angst, Epic Friendship, F/M, Family Feels, Friendship, Gen, Get You A Friend Like Varric, Hawke Needs a Hug, Loss, M/M, Team as Family, Varric Tethras Needs A Hug, Varric-centric, alexa play despacito, this is so sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-12
Updated: 2018-10-12
Packaged: 2019-08-01 05:11:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16278359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wally_Birb/pseuds/Wally_Birb
Summary: After the mage rebellion in Kirkwall, Varric becomes more protective of the Champions--his friends, his family, and a damn tragedy in the making.





	Enough

**Author's Note:**

> ...I wrote this three years ago and rediscovered it just now. Warning: it's sad as fuck.

_“I think you’ve done enough to them.”_

Varric watched as the Champions of Kirkwall sat next to each other in front of the fire. They didn’t say a word and it worried him. No less than twenty feet away, Anders watched them--his lover and his best friend, lost in one fell swoop. 

Varric couldn’t help but feel the roaring bitterness in his chest. 

Isabella and Merrill had already split off from the group. Aveline and Donnic stayed in Kirkwall to ease the chaos. So it was just him, the twins, and the glowing boyfriends.

Fenris was gaining more and more points in Varric’s book, to be honest. He took everything in stride--even voluntarily spending time with the terrorist to give the Hawkes some breathing room.

Anders was a curse on all of them. Depressed and mopey, endlessly feeling the need to defend himself and his actions when no defense could save him. Absently, Varric wondered how long it was take Garrett to just tell him to leave. It was too hard to look at him for Varric, he couldn’t imagine how Garrett felt. Betrayal burned hot like molten lava in Mari, in her glare, in her venomous words, in the way she never left Garrett and Anders alone. Garrett just looked broken, though. An ice sculpture of quiet maturity where the man who once bet Isabela his estate that he could bat a peanut into Mari’s mouth with his staff.

But then, that wasn’t fair. Mari was quiet these days, too. Varric mused that the only reason she didn’t kill Anders herself was because the twins couldn’t actually keep their wits if they had to attend yet another funeral. It didn’t stop Varric from dreaming about it, though.

Looking at them he saw everything they’d lost. They’d given everything to Kirkwall, and this was how the city repaid them.

This was how Justice repaid them.

Which was bullshit, Varric knew. If there was any justice in this world, the Hawkes wouldn’t be shadows of the bright, sarcastic, punchy twins he’d met all those years ago. If there was justice in this world, his best friends would be smiling at each other in that secret way they did when something stupid reminded them of an equally stupid inside joke.

Fenris returned to the campsite with an armful of firewood and took his seat next to Mari, gently pulling her into his side in the way he did these days. Varric stood from the other side of the fire and sat next to Garret, shoving his journal into his pack.

“Hey, Sparks, did Salty and I ever tell you how we almost killed Isabela while playing a prank on her?” Varric asked.

Garrett looked over at Varric after a beat, a curious look in his eyes, “No?”

“Oh, I remember this,” Mari leaned against Fenris and raised an eyebrow at Varric, “I remember being sworn to secrecy.”

“What Rivaini doesn’t know won’t hurt me,” Varric shrugged flippantly, earning an actual, if small, smile from both twins as he told the story. It took a bit of embellishment, but in the end he’d managed to wring a chuckle from Mari and a bout of belly laughter from Garrett.

Fenris met Varric’s eyes and looked more himself than he had in weeks. They shared a nod, a mutual understanding.

_“I think you’ve done enough to them.”_

Varric ventured out of his tent in the middle of the night a week after Anders left to find Garrett staring at the fire, dark circles under his eyes. He sat next to the Champion cautiously and looked at the fire, hoping to find the answers Garrett was looking for in the flames.

“Nightmares?” The dwarf asked quietly.

“Memories,” Garrett corrected in a soft voice. He glanced to the side to look at Varric for a beat before looking up at the sky. “I don’t think I’ve thanked you yet, Varric.”

Varric shook his head with a sigh, “Sparks, I’m not your friend for gratitude.”

“Maybe not, but you have mine. Mari’s as well, even if we’ve gone a bit nonverbal.” Garrett laughed, but there was no humor in it. “Imagine that, the both of us at a loss of words. Mother would’ve cherished the sight.”

“I never would’ve bet on it myself, but these aren’t circumstances anyone could’ve foreseen.” Varric admitted and clasped Garrett’s shoulder. “Let yourself fall apart for now, Hawke. Go nonverbal, cry, get angry, whatever you need to do. Fenris and me, we’re here to make sure you two have room to grieve everything you’ve lost. ‘S what friends are for.”

Pakis, Protector of the Weak, whined and put her head in Garrett’s lap, earning herself a scratch behind her ears.

“I stand corrected, it’s what Fenris, myself, and Pakis, Protector of the Weak are here for.” Varric shook his head at the mabari’s stupid name. “Why the hell did you let Mari name her, again?”

“Because Mari needed Pakis more than I did.” Garrett shrugged. “Besides, I’ve always been...more of a cat person.”

Varric sighed at that, remembering how Blondie spoke of his cat in the Deep Roads. “The next place you settle down in, you should get yourself a cat.”

Pakis boofed her discontent with the plan, but calmed down at the pets from one of her people, “I think I should discuss keeping Pakis with Mari. After all, she already has Fenris.”

“I’ll confess I had my own concerns when I heard she was interested in him--especially during the Three Year Long Breakup,” Varric spoke the words with venom, making Garrett laugh quietly, “But he’s here for her now. That matters.”

“Didn’t want to see her hung up on someone for the rest of her life?” Garrett spoke bitterly, his eyes trained on Pakis.

Varric huffed out a humorless laugh, “I didn’t want to see either of you end up like me.”

Garrett nudged Varric with his shoulder and offered the dwarf a genuine smile, “Careful how you talk about my best friend.”

“Little old me?” Varric pressed his hand to his chest in a fake swoon.

“You don’t see anyone else around here,” Garrett looked back up at the sky, “I guess calling you my friend is an insult, huh? You’re family by now.”

Varric blinked a few times and forced a caustic smile to cover up those soft feelings in his chest, “Was that a proposal? I’m afraid I’ll have to decline, Sparks.”

“Think of what a power couple we’d be, Varric. The children alone. With my hair and your love of lying...” Garrett trailed off, a teasing quirk to his smile.

“We’d be too powerful, Hawke. No one should have that much power.” Varric spoke in a solemn tone.

_“I think you’ve done enough to them.”_

It was another month before Varric found Mari alone, sitting on the edge of a cliff, holding onto one of her daggers with a white knuckled grip. The icy grip of betrayal had begun to melt with time and distance for Garrett, but Varric knew that Mari would’ve been burying those emotions. Fenris wasn’t exactly the most emotionally mature, so he wouldn’t have known how to ask.

Varric briefly missed Aveline and her motherly instinct with the twins. He stood behind her silently for a minute, waiting for her to make the opening move.

“I don’t want to keep fighting,” She admitted in a whisper. “I’ve fought my entire life to protect Garrett and Bethy and I’m tired of fighting my hardest and losing.” She was hunched over, her hair had grown out enough since he’d met her to cover her face like a curtain and pool over her shoulders like a dark waterfall, but he knew that the weight of her hair wasn’t what had led to the erosion that showed on her scarred shoulders.

Varric forgot, sometimes, how young she was when her father made her family her responsibility.

“You haven’t lost everything,” Varric reminded her gently.

“That’s why I can’t fight anymore, because I feel like the next time I hold this damn knife, I finally will.” Tears spilled over her cheeks. “I’m tired and scared, Varric. I don’t want to have to protect anything anymore.”

Varric stepped forward and sat next to her, careful of the edge of the cliff. He waited until he had her attention to look her in the eyes and nod. “Then give the knife away. Let us protect you.”

“They won’t understand,” Mari whispered.

“We will,” Varric gently unfurled her fingers around the dagger and took it from her. “Put down your blades, Mari, you can stop now.”

And with that, Marian Hawke broke into sobs that wracked her body harder than ever before. Varric pulled her away from the edge and sat with her for what felt like hours as she let herself finally cry for the first time since they’d left Lothering, probably.

When they got back to the campsite, Fenris and Garrett were anxiously waiting on them--passing the time with a game of Diamondback. They both melted into relief when they saw their companions back, alive and well.

“Mari, finally,” Garrett’s voice became lighter with each day, but the worry he tried to conceal aws as obvious as his bluff. “I was half worried you’d fallen out of a tree again.”

Marian chuckled easy, earning a surprised look from both Fenris and Garrett, “I needed to think about some things.”

“Oof, sounds dangerous.” Garrett teased, his smile natural and genuine.

Varric looked between the two and wondered what the hell was in the water in Ferelden to make people that fucking strong.

“I wanted to discuss something with all of you, actually. Family discussion, I guess,” Mari flopped down next to the game as graceful as ever (read: ungracefully) and motioned for Varric to join her. Varric conceded with a smile. She grabbed her other dagger, the one Varric hadn’t taken, and stabbed it into his ground. She bit her lip nervously before looking over the circle they’d created. “I can’t fight anymore.”

Garrett cocked his head to the side and looked at her in confusion, “Explain.”

Mari lolled her head from side to side, looking for her words before finally looking into Garrett’s gentle and hurt eyes, “I made Father a promise that I would protect our family. I’ve...failed him. Garrett, we’ve lost everything but each other and Pakis. Everything I’ve done in my life has been for you and Bethany and Carver and Leandra, but...I need to do this for me. I’m laying down my blades and retiring because I fear that next person I lose on this path will be myself.”

“Did- I never put that on you, Mari.” Garrett shook his head.

“ _You_ didn’t, but I did.” She laughed an emotion filled laugh. “We came to Kirkwall to protect our family and find our own paths, and we’re all out of family. After everything we’ve been through, I hardly know myself outside of the responsibilities I’d collected. I done exactly one thing for myself, and that’s Fenris.”

Fenris made that face he made when Hawke would make a joke out of saying something sweet, but moved forward to grasp her hand, “Marian, whatever decisions you make, I will stay at your side. My sword is your protection whether you’re fighting by my side or not.”

“Lovely,” Varric fished out his journal to write that gem down.

“Varric, what have you to say?” Garrett asked.

Varric spun Mari’s other dagger in his hand before slamming it down next to the one in the dirt, “I think that Salty has protected us enough that we can repay the favor until we stumble upon living normal lives.”

“You think we could do that?” Mari wondered out loud. “You think we could go somewhere and not have a shit ton of people asking us to solve their problems?”

“What is it about us that makes people want us to do everything for them?” Garrett asked miserably.

Mari laughed and shrugged, “If I knew I would’ve stopped it years ago.”

Garrett pulled Marian into a tight hug, “I think for now, I’ll get to protect you instead of the other way around.”

“Remember that Mari did survive almost getting severed in half, you two. She’s not exactly fragile.” Varric raised his eyebrows at his friends. Fenris’ expression darkened, Garrett held tighter to her, but Mari laughed darkly.

“I did,” The more morbid of the two twins grinned. “I have the scar to prove it!”

_“I think you’ve done enough to them.”_

Varric was grabbed by the Inquisition.

After the sky exploded, he was given the room to breathe that he needed to send the twins a message that he knew would be the only thing that would stop them from storming Haven for him.

_Hawkes--_

_I’m safe and sound at Haven. I’m off to save the world. Again._

_The Herald is a good woman. She’s already pledged that she would do whatever she could to keep Chuckles from being forced into a Circle, and has joked with me about Bianca. I don’t think I’ll find myself as persecuted while counted as one of her friends. Curly’s doing well without the chaos of Kirkwall._

_Stay in hiding. I’ll let you know if we need you. I may need to ask Mari to come out of retirement if this shit goes sideways--and let’s be honest, it will._

_I’ll keep myself alive as long as you do. Give Pakis and Broody my love._

_\--V._

He truly had no intention of calling his friends out of retirement. Kay’len seemed to have a handle on the situation--if you’d pardon the pun--and bringing them around Cassandra would be asking for trouble.

Then Kay’len told them of Corypheus and Varric silently cursed the Maker or whoever was out there for seemingly wanting to kill him.

_“I think you’ve done enough to them.”_

Mari came out of retirement long enough to die.

_“I think you’ve done enough to them.”_

Varric held Garrett when the man broken down outside of the Fade.

A week later, a finally coherent Garrett quietly stole the paper and ink to write to Anders--needing to know that the man he loved was at least okay, they’d all kept tabs on the mage and now Garrett wrote to him for the first time in years.

_“I think you’ve done enough to them.”_

Fenris showed up at Skyhold barely a week after the news reached him and demanded to be told the truth. He couldn’t believe she’d be dead, not with their toddler swaddled on his back.

_“I think you’ve done enough to them.”_

Varric silently cried in a chair at his desk at Skyhold when he thought of his now dead best friend.

“I’m sorry, Varric.” Cassandra’s heavy accent settled on him like a weight.

“Not now, Seeker.” Varric shook his head, his eyes closed.

Cassandra let out a breath, but didn’t leave. She put her hand on his upper back, more gentle than he would’ve imagined she could. “I won’t speak of it, but I do not wish you to be alone at this moment.”

“She had a baby,” Varric admitted to Cassandra. “A daughter. Fenris showed up with her. She kept saying she had news for me, but we were busy. Bethany Lee Hawke.”

Cassandra’s hand was strong as she squeezed the back of his neck in reassurance, “The Inquisition will provide the Hawke family with whatever they need. And that includes you.”

Varric looked down at her dagger, “That’s what they kept telling me. I just wish Hawkes didn’t have such a habit of losing family.”


End file.
